A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.    The teacher said
it was physically impossible for a  whale to swallow a human because even
though it was  a very large mammal its throat was very small.  The little
girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a  whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".  The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"  The little girl replied, "Then you
ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom  of children while they
were drawing. She would  occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,  she asked what
the drawing was.  The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."  The teacher paused
and said, "But no one knows what  God looks like."  Without missing a beat,
or looking up from her  drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten  Commandments with her five and six year olds.  After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy  Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of  a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her  mother do the dishes at
the kitchen sink. She suddenly  noticed that her mother had several strands
of white  hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.  She looked at
her mother and inquisitively asked,  "Why are some of your hairs white,
Mom?"  Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do  something wrong
and make me cry or unhappy, one of  my hairs turns white."  The little girl
thought about this revelation for a while  and then said, "Momma, how come
ALL of grandma's  hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the  teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a  copy of the group picture.  "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you   are all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice
at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of  the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer,  she  said,  "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
the  blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn  red in the
face.."  "Yes," the class said.  "Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my  feet?" A
little fellow shouted,  "Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of  the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.  A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.